


Del tha Funkee Homosapien and Dinosaur Jr, on the other hand, is a concept so wild I still can’t quite wrap my head around it, even years later. From a theoretical standpoint, the Judgment Night soundtrack was more important than the movie, even if it failed: Sorry, Emilio, but we’ve seen you swear and wave a gun at people before.
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In fact, I’m fairly certain I saw more commercials for the soundtrack than I did for the actual film in the two weeks leading up to its release.Īnd why shouldn’t I have? It was a pretty ballsy move, banking an entire album on a hybrid genre that at the time really only had two full songs to its credit: Run-D.M.C.’s 1986 cover of “Walk This Way,” featuring two-fifths of Aerosmith, and Anthrax’s 1991 cover of “Bring Tha Noise,” featuring two-fifths of Public Enemy. There was definitely a small media blitz accompanying this Reese’s peanut butter cup of rock and rap.
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It’s almost as if the filmmakers knew the movie was going to tank harder than the German army, so they made sure the soundtrack was an event unto itself. It’s more the idea of the Judgment Night soundtrack that’s risible. Why is the 1993 Frankenstein experiment that joined 11 rap groups with 11 rock bands to help score an urban crime thriller starring Emilio Estevez, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Denis Leary so inherently funny to me? I have no idea. But near the top of my verboten mealtime language list are three words that, when last they hit my ears together without warning, sent me into a 65-minute fit that produced a river of tears and turned my face redder than the ripest tomato you’ve ever seen: Judgment Night soundtrack. Also on the list is a great deal of Yiddish slang because, well, let’s face it, that language is designed to crack goyim up. Included on this list are such giggle-inducing phrases as dynamic front man, funderful, tweakin’ out at a rave, and Rollie Fingers. I don’t know how normal this is, but I have a list of words and phrases people are restricted from saying in front of me during meals, lest I start laughing uncontrollably and accidentally choke to death/spray morsels of half-eaten food across the room.
